To be a good father, you have to be a wise father

by Ana Lopez

Focus – Rajesh Yagnik

We are discussing what a modern man should do to be a good father. When it comes to father-son, the gap between the two generations must be talked about.
Actress Sonali Bendre once said, “We have knowledge given to us by our elders, then we learn more from our experiences and rarely reject. But to bridge the generation gap, one needs to adapt to the new while retaining what is good in the old. But who will initiate to reduce this generation gap or its impact on father-son relationship? Of course, as a father you have to take the first step. For that you need to be wise towards your children.
Be wise with your children
The biggest problem that arises between parents and children is that parents always try to make the children as per their perception or ‘like themselves’. Only, not the effort, sometimes creates the pressure of manner.
Your children are not a photocopy of you
You have to understand that your children are not your shadow or your reflection. Your children are an independent personality. They have independent desires, Gamma-Angama. You have to be wise enough to understand it. The path you show your children may be the path to happiness as you think. But it may be that your child has an idea to live his life differently.
Deepika Padukone’s father has been a famous badminton player. Although Deepika herself is proficient in the sport, her father did not force her to choose the field of sports.
– Guiding children how they should live their lives and what they should do is excellent. But by putting control over them and forcing them to go in a certain direction, aren’t they taking away their freedom?
– It may take time for you to understand your child’s wishes. You are proficient and successful in your field, but try to understand from your child if he might want to move to another field. Sit down with him and have a friendly discussion on why he wants to choose another field.
– Controlling children instead of understanding them will prevent them from talking openly with you.
– Teach children to be independent and free-minded and try to understand their wants and dislikes. Sometimes you have paved a safe path to success for them, but they have to take a different path. Riteish Deshmukh, the son of a successful politician like Vilasrao Deshmukh, has become successful in the field of acting. What is important is that you understand your child and support them on the path they choose or do they have to rebel? Which will create sourness in your relationship.
Change yourself with the changing times
This is basically what we mean when we talk about the gap between generations. Your child was born and is growing up in a different time and environment than the time and environment in which you grew up. So don’t make the mistake of constantly looking at it in conjunction with your era. With increasing globalization in education, social media, changing politics and business conditions, it is possible that your children understand today’s times better than you do.
– With the changing times, there is bound to be a gap between you and the children in the ideas of tattooing on the body, manners of wearing clothes, relationships with women or men before marriage, talking about saving or spending money, being thrifty or traveling the world. As much as you wanted to know the world, maybe your children will want more than that.
– You may believe that you know more about the universe, and perhaps, you are right; However, let your children learn from their experiences, and present their own point of view. Yes, whatever they do, you need to keep an eye on them to see that they don’t get hurt.
Allow children to make mistakes
There is nothing wrong in wanting ‘my children not to make the same mistakes I made’, but sometimes children should be allowed to make mistakes, so that they realize that what the father was saying was true. Don’t impose restrictions or scold them just so they don’t get hurt or make the same mistakes you did. Accept that children will make mistakes, we did too. Keep in mind that blaming or angering them for mistakes that aren’t too harmful to anyone else or the children will only make matters worse. For example, when a grown-up son or daughter drives a car and gets lost somewhere, gets below-par marks in an exam due to lack of discipline, spends pocket money on foolish purchases, instead of getting angry, sit down and discuss it with them and ask them what is wrong with them. gone wrong?
– How will children learn if you always provide them with a safe environment? The bird also frees the young to fly when they grow up, even when the young fall in their attempts to fly, the bird supports them. But the freedom to fly is given.
– It is necessary to discipline the children for their mistakes. But getting angry is not the solution for him. It can be discussed sitting down. Give them a chance to find fault with their work in their own way and then explain how those mistakes could have been avoided.
Try to understand the struggles of children
A good father should know when his children are struggling. Be prepared to support children by observing emotional or behavioral changes. Children also feel the stress of change. Understand the impact of change in friends and environment when moving to a new city or living in another area of ​​the same city, problems in adjusting to the new environment in children leaving school and college, difficulties in studies, problems of physical and mental changes in children entering adolescence from adolescence, etc. and their communicate with
– You should understand what is going on in your children’s mind. Only then you can talk to them and try to find a solution.
‘I know you are in a difficult situation right now. Can we talk about it?’ Even just asking will make the child feel that you care about him and he will be able to come to you if needed.
– Put yourself in the children’s shoes so that you understand what the children are going through and what they are feeling.
Don’t expect too much from your children
Being a wise father do not expect too much from your children. If children cannot develop naturally under the weight of your expectations, they will be the ones who will be in trouble in the future.
Two things should be kept in mind while expecting children. One is children’s own desire and second, their ability. By understanding children’s abilities and limits and considering their wishes then theirs
Help achieve set goals. Also remember that you can change them by persuading them, not just by preaching. What do you expect him to get? Or what did you get? Avoid asking awkward questions like
A father’s work is never finished.
A father’s work is permanent, just like a mother’s. Even after children grow up and are ready to leave home, they will still look to their father for wisdom and advice. Whether it’s still going to school, getting a new job or getting married, fathers continue to play an essential part in children’s lives as they grow and, perhaps, even after they marry and start a family of their own.
A father remains the father of children for life. As a good father, the stronger the emotional connection you have with your children, the deeper, more emotional the father-child relationship will become over time. For a father in the twilight of his life, the earned love of his children becomes the real capital of the father than the earned money.

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